I basically knew the answer already but I asked her if it would be possible for her to watch John one or two days a week so that I could substitute. I am leaving the daycare (had enough) and substituting would be the job that would pay the most other than teaching full time which isn't an option until John goes to school. She didn't answer me and quickly changed the subject, which spoke volumes. So yesterday we went grocery shopping and I applied at Wal.mart and a grocery store. At this point I will have to work evenings after Russ gets home and on weekends because it's obvious that we don't have ANY family support here. Which is fine, our family of three will survive on our own as we've been doing. The extra money would have helped us move sooner but we will still reach our goals.
While John was napping, my mother called to let me know that she had been thinking and thinking about watching John and she just didn't think she could do it. I told her we had already figured that out and we would be fine. She said that it would be too early for her to get up in the mornings! But yet she can get up to take pictures of deer? Nice. And she said she was scared to drive in the snow and ice and she doesn't know the roads very well. First of all, she grew up here, in this very house as a matter of fact! Second of all, if there is snow and ice the schools close. She did say that she could watch John in an "emergency" such as when Russ has to go on trips and I'm scheduled to work IF I get a job near her house and drop him off. Isn't that nice of her?
She went on to say that she does still want to see John though. Well isn't that nice considering you are his grandmother (by blood anyway) and we moved here for that reason. I told her "well, we aren't keeping him from you." And she said that she knows how "busy" we are and we "do things" every weekend. How dare we do things when John's grandmother might call and ask to see him. Yeah, that hasn't happened even once since we moved here. Then she told me that she might know someone who would buy our house. Our house which is not for sale! Even if we sold our house immediately, we have a lot of debt that must be paid before we could even think of moving, which we have told her. I asked her if she was telling people our house was for sale and she denied it but obviously she is. By this time I was so furious that I had Russ call our phone so she would hear our call waiting and I could hang up. In retrospect it was a bit cowardly on my part but if I had continued to listen to her I would have ended up yelling at her and that would give her more ammunition to play the victim. A few minutes later she sent me the following in an email:
I didn't tell anyone that your house is for sale, or that you want to move out of the area, or would I! That is your business to tell/do whatever you want. I was trying to talk personally between YOU and ME only after all that you said before. I guess I can't talk/tell you anything any more. That's the sad part. I LOVE having you here and thought we'd be doing more together, especially craft fairs, etc.
Sorry I got you upset again!!!!
Love Ya <3 * * *
And once again it's all about her. It's my fault that we don't do more together! I'm so frustrated and can't wait to get out of here. While I was applying at Wal.mart one of the girls that works part time at the daycare and at Wal.mart asked why I was applying there. She said everyone else is trying to get out of Wal.mart. So, it will be no secret that I'm looking for another job so Russ said I should hand in my notice today. I was going to wait until I found something else but I guess that's been taken out of my hands now. So today I'm taking a step towards our future. It's scary but I'm so glad to be leaving the daycare.