Monday, August 15, 2011

I guess she's not a morning person

So, we went to my parents' house to have cake for my brother's birthday on Saturday evening and it was as awful as I anticipated. I can no longer even look my mother in the eye. It has been 3 1/2 weeks since they last saw John and she said "has it been that long?" Um, yeah it has. So much for all the "family time" she promised if we moved here. And she had missed him so much that she spent all of her time photographing the deer in her yard. The deer that are there every day. This is her newest obsession and she sees herself as a photographer and says "everyone" wants to buy her pictures. She said she has been getting up at 6:30 to see them so she can get the best photos. She has always slept until at least 10 or 11, so this is big for her. You'll see why it's big for us too in just a bit.

I basically knew the answer already but I asked her if it would be possible for her to watch John one or two days a week so that I could substitute. I am leaving the daycare (had enough) and substituting would be the job that would pay the most other than teaching full time which isn't an option until John goes to school. She didn't answer me and quickly changed the subject, which spoke volumes. So yesterday we went grocery shopping and I applied at Wal.mart and a grocery store. At this point I will have to work evenings after Russ gets home and on weekends because it's obvious that we don't have ANY family support here. Which is fine, our family of three will survive on our own as we've been doing. The extra money would have helped us move sooner but we will still reach our goals.

While John was napping, my mother called to let me know that she had been thinking and thinking about watching John and she just didn't think she could do it. I told her we had already figured that out and we would be fine. She said that it would be too early for her to get up in the mornings! But yet she can get up to take pictures of deer? Nice. And she said she was scared to drive in the snow and ice and she doesn't know the roads very well. First of all, she grew up here, in this very house as a matter of fact! Second of all, if there is snow and ice the schools close. She did say that she could watch John in an "emergency" such as when Russ has to go on trips and I'm scheduled to work IF I get a job near her house and drop him off. Isn't that nice of her?

She went on to say that she does still want to see John though. Well isn't that nice considering you are his grandmother (by blood anyway) and we moved here for that reason. I told her "well, we aren't keeping him from you." And she said that she knows how "busy" we are and we "do things" every weekend. How dare we do things when John's grandmother might call and ask to see him. Yeah, that hasn't happened even once since we moved here. Then she told me that she might know someone who would buy our house. Our house which is not for sale! Even if we sold our house immediately, we have a lot of debt that must be paid before we could even think of moving, which we have told her. I asked her if she was telling people our house was for sale and she denied it but obviously she is. By this time I was so furious that I had Russ call our phone so she would hear our call waiting and I could hang up. In retrospect it was a bit cowardly on my part but if I had continued to listen to her I would have ended up yelling at her and that would give her more ammunition to play the victim. A few minutes later she sent me the following in an email:
I didn't tell anyone that your house is for sale, or that you want to move out of the area, or would I!  That is your business to tell/do whatever you want.  I was trying to talk personally between YOU and ME only after all that you said before.  I guess I can't talk/tell you anything any more.  That's the sad part.  I LOVE having you here and thought we'd be doing more together, especially craft fairs, etc. 
Sorry I got you upset again!!!!
Love Ya <3 * * *
And once again it's all about her. It's my fault that we don't do more together! I'm so frustrated and can't wait to get out of here. While I was applying at Wal.mart one of the girls that works part time at the daycare and at Wal.mart asked why I was applying there. She said everyone else is trying to get out of Wal.mart. So, it will be no secret that I'm looking for another job so Russ said I should hand in my notice today. I was going to wait until I found something else but I guess that's been taken out of my hands now. So today I'm taking a step towards our future. It's scary but I'm so glad to be leaving the daycare. 

1 comment:

Noelle said...

I am so sorry that this is happening with your mother and your work situation. It sounds very stressful. I think that when you are finally able to move it will be very good for you. I do believe that you need to move farther away from her, as she is not good for you and causes you too much heartache. It is shocking to hear that your own mother won't watch her grandson because it is too early for her to get up, yet she'll get up to take pictures. Of course she has every right to say no if she really isn't getting up early, but she is!

She sounds passive-aggressive to me. I hope that you are able to find a job that you enjoy and that treats you well. Cutting back your hours from 30 to 16 is unacceptable.

This will get better. It will just take time.