Monday, July 25, 2011

What do you say?

What do you say when your neighbor tells you that her newly-turned 18 year old daughter is pregnant with her second child? I said "Congratulations" because every child is a blessing, regardless of the circumstances. Evidently this was the correct response, because she is thrilled about it. Her husband is decidedly less so. He said "they can't even afford the one they have." This is unfair, because the "baby daddy" works hard selling his prescription ri.talin tablets so they can afford things babies need like fancy cell phones and four wheelers. Yes, I'm wearing my judgey pants, just for a minute. There was a time when this situation would have destroyed me. The three years that we battled infertility were the darkest days of my life. Hearing of teens getting pregnant or someone abandoning their baby sent me into a death spiral of pain and tears. Now that we have John, I reacted to this news the same way most people would, which is something I never thought I'd achieve. I wouldn't say I'm "over" my infertility; it has entirely altered the person that I am, but in a good way. I see life in a different way now and I don't take as much for granted as I used to. Upon hearing my neighbor's news, I held my breath and waited for the inevitable pang of jealousy. It never came. R and I both wanted at least two children but my doctor said it could be life threatening to me and/or the child so John will be an only child. And we're ok with that; more than ok in fact. John is all we dared hope for and more and we feel so blessed to have him. He's healthy and happy and our family is complete at three. So I will put my judgey pants back into the closet and I will sew something special for our neighbors' new blessing and I will send them meals when the baby comes home and I will hold him/her without a moment of longing for "what could have been." Take that infertility. I win.

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