It would be nice to be able to write my true feelings here instead of feeling like I'd be offending or upsetting someone.
It would be nice to feel like my mother loved me, for just one day.
It would be nice to know what it feels like to be concerned only about myself instead of carrying the weight of other people's problems.
It would be nice to feel like I could let someone else be in charge instead of trying to be in control of everything.
It would be nice to get a full night's sleep instead of waking up at 4 and switching on my brain.
It would be nice to stop worrying so much.
It would be nice to feel like I mattered to the people in my life as much as they matter to me.
It would be nice to feel like I have the right to be sad even though there are people in the world whose situations are so much worse than mine.
It would be nice, but it wouldn't be my life. Good or bad, this is my life and I will make the best of it. I'm hurting right now and praying I never make my son feel the way my mother makes me feel. I am determined to turn this pain into something positive. I'll start with today.